Subtle Words
by Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Summary: A series of one-shots, mostly ZevranXm!Grey Warden. Please, if you don't like yaoi, then don't read it. Contains Origins and Awakenings.
1. Meeting Around the Campfire

Warning: Yaoi/boy-on-boy  
Pairings: ZevranXmale!Grey Warden  
Story: There are times when people just need a place to meet and talk and laugh. And with their traveling days over, where better for the diminished group to meet than the Warden Commander's cambers?  
Disclaimer: Characters (c) Bioware  
Elador (c) Me

A/N: So, yeah, first one of my Dragon Age stories! Goody... this is just gunna be a bunch of one-shots (maybe two-shots) that will get updated irregularly between my other stories! Enjoy~

* * *

The young elf lay on his bed, for the first time in years finding the large thing much too… empty. The brunette tilted his head to where his lover would normally lay: by his side. His heart was broken and so was, it seemed, his left pinky. Annoying when you wield dual weapons.

A light tap on his window sent the elf flying to his sword, which he had started to keep beside his bed ever since it had once again become much too large. He quietly inched towards the window, on edge.

"Oi! El! Let me in, it's cold out here! And wet!" Elador relaxed, laughing in relief as he opened the window and the good king Alistair rolled into the lavish room.

"Alistair, what are you doing here?" Elador giggled as he helped the man to his feet. Alistair just grinned and shrugged off the meager armor he had worn to see his friend. "And this is the third floor, how did you get up here?"

"I have my ways," Alistair laughed, taking a seat on the floor. Elador sighed, sitting across from him. After their travels together, the two found it easier to talk when they didn't have chairs in the way. Alistair glanced over to see Nathaniel sleeping in the small couch on the other side of the room. "Besides, what was I supposed to do when I heard my best friend was keeping _another_ assassin in his room?"

Elador flinched slightly, but wouldn't let the unknown blow show. "Alright, alright, I'm too fucking trusting. But honestly, what are you doing here? Your guards are going to freak out when they notice you're gone!" He laughed, pushing Alistair slightly.

"Yeah, well-"

Alistair was cut off at the sound of the door opening. Both of the men breathed a sigh as a slightly-less-drunk than usual Oghren sauntered in, pulling a reluctant looking Anders inside with him before closing the door.

"K-King Alist-" Anders was cut off as Oghren nearly ran forward, tackling Elador and Alistair.

"By my ancestors, you two have too many sticks up your asses lately!" Oghren laughed. Elador laughed, hugging the dwarf back from his position on the ground as Alistair protested to the rough treatment. "King Alistair my arse! Two years ago you were sleeping on the ground with the rest of us!"

Alistair sighed, shrugging as he gave up his struggle. Oghren detangled himself from the other two, sitting beside them. "Oi! Mage-boy, get over here!"

Anders nervously sat down between Elador and Oghren. The young elf smiled happily, clapping Anders on the back softly. "So, has my room become the new campfire or something?" Elador laughed softly.

"Well, seeing as how most of us disappeared…" Alistair muttered sadly.

Elador chuckled softly. At Anders raised brow, he carefully began explaining. "Well, the group Alistair and I gathered broke up after the whole Archdemon thing. We haven't all gotten together in years."

"Morrigan disappeared, Leliana ran off, Sten went back to his people, Wynne… well, she disappeared too, and last time I checked, you were barely letting Zevran out of bed," Alistair laughed softly.

This time, Elador's flinch was more visible. Alistair stopped laughing and Oghren set down the ale that had appeared from nowhere. Anders seemed to pay more attention as Elador's eyes stuck to the ground. "El?" Alistair asked softly.

"Zev-" Elador's voice caught in his throat. "Zev left. He disappeared about a month ago. He left a note saying he went back to Antiva, that he was being targeted again… Damn it, he acts like I'm a delicate flower! I was the one who saved him from the Crows the first time, why can't he just trust me?"

Alistair sighed, sliding closer to the young elf and draping an arm over his shoulder. "Hey, two years ago he was trying to kill you. I would think this is an improvement!" the king laughed, rubbing his friends shoulder as Elador leaned on him.

The elf chuckled slightly, Oghren taking a swig of ale. "Always knew the Antivan was a whore…" the dwarf muttered.

"Hey!" Elador protested. "He may be a whore, but he's my whore! Once this whole darkspawn thing is settled, I'm going after him!"

"Alright, hold on a second." All eyes turned to Anders, who looked more than a bit confused. "Let me get this straight, you're depressed cause you're boyfriend left, commander?" Elador nodded slightly, smiling as Alistair held him a big tighter. "Okay, that I get. But did he actually try to kill you? And why are the Crows after him and not you?"

The three more experienced warriors glanced at each other before bursting out laughing. Once Elador got his laughter under control, he schooled his features into a kind smile.

"Sorry, Anders, I forgot you didn't know the story. Zevran, my lover, is an elf who traveled with us during the Blight. He even stood with me against the Archdemon. When we first met him, well, he was an assassin sent to kill me and Alistair. We defeated him, with astonishing ease considering the Crows reputation-"

"He was a Crow?" Anders only became more confused at this point. Elador nodded happily. Anders sighed. "Well, that would explain why you weren't more alarmed at Mister Grouchy, over there," nodding to Nathaniel.

"Yeah, I'm kind of desensitized about assassins thanks to mine. Well, Zevran asked to come along with us. He didn't want to be a Crow, and decided we would be the best protection against them. After… after all our time travelling together, Zev and me…"

"The flirting became much more than just flirting," Alistair said with a grimace.

Elador smiled fondly at the memory. Anders smirked slightly. "Good to know the Commander isn't an innocent virgin."

"Oh, I've probably done more in bed than you've ever dreamed of," Elador beamed. Anders flinched slightly. The elf giggled, reaching up a hand to fiddle with the gold earring that hung from his right lobe. It held a small ruby, and Elador seemed to sober up once touching it. "We started getting feelings for each other somewhere along the way. But we'd both gotten broken hearts before. We didn't want that to happen again. But… it happened!"

Oghren groaned. "Oh, they couldn't keep their hands off each other! Made getting out of camp… difficult."

Elador giggled as Alistair and Oghren shared a look. "After the Archdemon was slain, I kind of got knocked out. Zevran thought I was dead and pleaded with me, saying he loved me and begging me to not die. I still remember the look on his face when I opened my eyes and said I loved him too."

"I take it this all came to a screeching halt?" Anders muttered, looking a bit peeved at the loving image.

"The Crows were still after Zev. After a year, Zevran became… distant. And a few months later, I woke up to find him gone…" Alistair looped another arm around Elador as he buried his face into the king's clothed chest.

"Zevran's an idiot, we all agreed upon that when he tried to flirt with Morrigan," Alistair muttered, stroking the elf's brunette hair. "And then with Wynne. And Oghren. And anything that moved."

Oghren shuddered at the memory. "Damn Antivan," he muttered as he took another swig of ale.

Elador chuckled slightly, though his hold on Alistair tightened. "I just wish I had _everyone_ to deal with this… I wish we were back in camp, with Leliana singing a song about clouds, Sten having a staring contest with Jeri, Morrigan trying to block all of us out, Wynne singing along with Leliana and Oghren, and… I just wish I knew where everyone was…"

"Well, you've got us now, Commander," Anders said with a soft smile. Elador looked up, smiling fondly at the mage. "And maybe even the assassin, once he decides not to kill us!"

"Not likely."

Four bodies jerked and looked to see Nathaniel rubbing his head as he sat up. He glared hatefully at Alistair and Elador, who had unhooked themselves. He got up from the couch, but didn't take a step further.

"Alright, you made me a bloody Warden. Now what, murderer?" the Howe hissed between clenched teeth.

"Oi! Don't you dare call him that!" Alistair growled, making to stand up only to have a soft hand land on his shoulder.

"El killed your father cause he was a corrupt nug-runner, kid," Oghren muttered, taking another swig of ale. He wasn't drunk enough to deal with a suicidal moron.

"My father did what he had to!" Nathaniel made to drawn his sword or dagger only to realize he didn't have them.

Elador calmly stood, taking a few steps towards the would-be assassin. "Nathaniel. Did you ever meet your father when he became like this?" he asked softly. After a few tense moments, Nathaniel reluctantly shook his head. Elador nodded. "I admire your spirit to defend him, he was your father. But I killed him to save my own family. He and Loghain had authorized a slave-ring in the Alienage. I almost didn't make it in time to save my father. I didn't make it in time to save my fiancé."

Nathaniel looked a bit taken aback, but was back to glaring at Elador in mere moments. "Loghain probably made him do it!" he managed to growl out.

Elador nodded. "In your own time, friend. But for now, we must put away personal grudges for the good of Ferelden and perhaps the world. Will you travel with me to help save the world?" The elf held out a small hand.

Nathaniel stared at the hand for a few moments that seemed to last years. "…For Ferelden," he hissed, taking the outstretched hand.

Elador smiled happily, before sitting beside Alistair once again and forcing Nathaniel to sit between him and Anders. After a moment the elf realized Alistair was staring at his left hand. "What?" he asked, laughing slightly.

The blond tilted his head slightly. "Is your pinky supposed to be bent at that angle?"


	2. A Sore Heart

Warning: Yaoi/boy-on-boy  
Pairings: ZevranXmale!Grey Warden, one-sided NathanielXmale!Grey Warden  
Story: There's no rhyme or reason to love, there's no way to predict its precarious path over ledges and across rickety old bridges, but sometimes... There's a reason it hurts so much. Because your love is already loved by another.  
Disclaimer: Characters (c) Bioware  
Elador (c) Me

A/N: So, second installment of my dragon age one-shots! w00t! I'll have more up by the end of the week, seeing as how I'm back to being obsessed with it again. Wish me luck!

* * *

His eyes had been straying, his gazes lingering a few seconds too long on that lithe body, his heart catching when that brilliant smile lit up his smooth features. His guard was dropping much too often around the warrior, his childish giggles setting the elder man at ease. Nathaniel was falling, hard, for a man whose lover had left him.

"Nath! Hurry up!" Nathaniel quickly looked up to see Elador waiting for him, waving happily. The elf was much too happy for someone chasing down two warring sects of darkspawn. Nathaniel smiled slightly, hurrying to catch up with the small traveling group.

So far, the young elf had managed to collect a small group of people, well, small compared to the group he used to travel with. Nathaniel had become used to seeing Oghren and Elador in deep conversation, probably because they knew each other better than they knew the others.

"So, Nathaniel," the rouge frowned when a lithe arm draped itself over his shoulders. He turned his head to see Anders on his right and Sigrun on his left.

"Alright. What do you two want?" Nathaniel sighed, his shoulders sagging under Anders grip. The mage and dwarf rouge grinned devilishly.

"Well, we noticed that you were… taking in the sites," a pointed glance towards Elador. "We thought you could use some company! It is amazing you are _just_ noticing that our dear Commander's… radiance!" Anders supplied happily. Nathaniel spared a glance his way.

"He is quite handsome…" Sigrun giggled quietly, attempting to hide the blush that had stained her cheeks. "It is amazing he hasn't noticed the looks you give him."

Anders snickered. "You look like a starved lion zoning in on his prey!" the mage was having much too much fun with this, Nathaniel noted. "Why don't you just tell him, already? Worst case scenario, he says you guys should just be friends. Best case, you wake up in a bed role that ain't yours!"

"Shut up, Anders. He told you already, he's got someone," Nathaniel muttered, running a hand through his hair.

Sigrun raised a brow. "Really? Who, who! Commander never told me anything! Oghren either!"

Nathaniel chuckled. "Apparently his name's Zevran. He's someone we found out about the night I was made a Warden. King Alistair snuck into the Commander's room, then Oghren and Anders burst in. I always forget that Oghren was part of the team that saved our world."

"Hm, and how did you get into the Commander's room?" Sigrun giggled, gently nudging the tall human.

"Don't get your hopes up, Sig, this idiot passed out after his joining. The Commander didn't want him out of his site, so… he got to sleep in the Commander's room!" Anders finished the last part with a smirk that looked as if it belonged on a cat about to pounce.

"Mhmm, I woke up when these guys were talking about Zevran. He was the Commander's lover during the Blight. Turns out he was a Crow-"

"You mean like those guys who attacked us?" Sigrun gasped, thinking back to when Vigil's keep had been invaded by a group of scavenger's known as the Crows.

"Yup!" Anders eagerly exclaimed. "He was sent to kill the Commander originally, but when the Commander kicked his ass, he asked if he could travel with them! He says it was the only reason he had given the Howe a chance."

Nathaniel sighed, glaring at Anders out of the corner of his eyes. "I hate you. But yeah, the Commander fell for an assassin. Zevran was apparently so in love with the Commander, he left him when Zevran was being targeted by the Crows for leaving their ranks."

The small group of gossipers stopped suddenly when a young man came running towards the Commander, smiling widely. He looked to be a messenger, from the Keep. It must have only been a bit further ahead. The boy came to a halt before Elador, handing him a letter happily. The lithe elf smiled, patting the boy's shoulder before sending him back towards Vigil's Keep.

Once the boy was out of sight, Elador was tearing at the letter, trying to get at the message written within. Once he did, Sigrun, Anders, and Nathaniel raced forward, for their Commander had fallen to his knees.

"El! What the stone's wrong?" Oghren asked loudly as the three others joined him.

Elador slowly looked up, tears in his eyes and a smile that could light up the tunnels of Orzammar on his face. "He's coming home, Oghren… He's coming home!" The teary-eyed elf handed the letter to Oghren.

"… 'Especially the naughty ones.' Ha! That ol' Antivan whore!" Oghren laughed, handing the letter back to Elador who jolted to his feet and spun around like a school girl, giggling.

"He's coming home, he's coming home!" The Warden-Commander chanted happily, holding the letter to his chest.

"Now all you have to do is stay alive long enough for him to get back, Commander!"

Three sets of eyes turned and glared at Sigrun as Elador stopped his bouncing and twirling. "What?" the young dwarf muttered, looking between the three males who gave her the most vicious glares they could.

"That's the first time the Commander's been happy in weeks," Nathaniel muttered, massaging his forehead. Elador chuckled, setting a hand on Nathaniel's shoulder with a smile.

"No, she's right. We need to focus on the darkspawn, not my love-life. Besides, Zevran will already be pissed enough when he comes back to see I've been running around the country again without him and that I've got some new scars. Best not to die on him," Elador chuckled. He glanced at the note once more, his eyes lighting up before he folded the letter and tucking it into a pocket.

"You haven't told us much about this Zevran, but he sounds protective," Anders muttered as the group began walking again.

"Nah, he's open. When it's his idea," Elador laughed, tilting his head to take in the group he had gathered so far. "And when he's here. He doesn't like it when he's not here to "protect" me, which I must point out he's only done twice!"

Anders and Oghren snickered, while Sigrun looked like she wanted to coo how cute that was! Nathaniel was beginning to hate this Zevran all the more. Elador just smiled slightly, realizing he had begun to rant a bit.

"You know, assassin's out to get me and such," the young Commander laughed.

Three sets of eyes turned to the resident assassin. "Hey!" Nathaniel complained. "I didn't _succeed_!"

"And you wouldn't have had I even been there," Elador snickered. "You have Zev to thank for that. He decided I needed lessons on how not to get my throat slit or poison in my cup. Amazingly, I'm now immune to almost all the known poisons in the world, and a few Zevran came up with."

"You're, ah, boyfriend is… paranoid," Oghren muttered.

"Better that than dead," Anders defended with a shrug. "Hey, tell us what it was like when Zevran thought you were dead!"

Elador laughed lightly. "So, you remember me talking about that, huh? Well, Alistair and I hadn't told anyone about the Grey Warden's big secret. Mainly cause it's a big secret. Sigrun, since you're not a Warden yet… eh, I guess I can still tell you! Against an Archdemon, killing it kills the Grey Warden as well. Self-sacrifice and all that."

Sigrun's eyes widened slightly. Oghren chuckled, nudging her with his elbow. "Wondering why our Commander's still here?" The younger dwarf nodded slightly.

"Well, we had a mage travelling with us. Two, technically, but… Morrigan. Anders, you would not have gotten along with her," Elador muttered when he saw Anders about to make another racy comment. "She offered Alistair and me a way out. I didn't agree with it, but… Alistair knew I wouldn't let him sacrifice himself, and he wouldn't let me die… So, I had to sleep with Morrigan."

A bright blush tainted Elador's cheeks. Four sets of eyebrows shot up. "But… I thought you, men, only?" Oghren muttered. Elador knew a jealous dwarf when he heard one. Oghren had been trying to get into Morrigan's skirt ever since the two met.

"Yeah, uh, I do only go for guys, really only Zevran-" Nathaniel felt a stab delivered to his heart. "-so, uh… Morrigan hated me for this. I couldn't get… **it**… up."

Anders and Oghren waited only a moment before bursting out laughing, Sigrun was blushing brightly as she giggled, and Nathaniel was looking as if someone had made him swallow a jalapeno he was so red. Great imagination.

"Shut it," Elador growled. "I literally had to go into a trance to do it. It was unpleasant. But Alistair wouldn't sleep with the wench so that left me. Even if I am in a committed relationship!"

"How did Zevran take it?" Anders asked between gasping for breath.

Elador looked away, his blush lessening. "He wouldn't talk to me for a week. It took Alistair and Leliana explaining everything to him for him to finally realize I did it for him… so I could stay by his side."

"Mhmm, now, back to the embarrassing part of Zevran thinking you were dead!" Sigrun exclaimed with a giggle.

"Well, it was right after I had stuck my sword through that damn dragon's head. The blast that accompanied it blew me back and made me hit my head on a rock. I was knocked unconscious. I woke up to sobs… 'Please, you can't do this to me, you promised me forever! I swear to the Maker, if you don't open your eyes I will storm even the Fade to get you back! I love you, my Warden, Elador, please! I love you, I love you, I lo-'"

Elador stopped, letting out a giggle. "What happened then?" Sigrun gasped, completely entranced by the tale.

"I kissed him," Elador murmured with a blush. "'I love you, too, Zev. But right now my head hurts and I'm tired. Can we do the vows tomorrow?'"

"You didn't!" Sigrun gasped, her eyes widening.

Anders snickered. "You told him off after that confession? Didn't know you were such a sadist, Commander."

"It was… mushy…" Oghren growled. "We got any ale?" He looked as if he wanted to wash away the memory and the taste it had left.

"So… what did he do?" Nathaniel murmured quietly.

"Zevran hugged me so tight I thought I would choke. Then he told me to rest as long as I wanted as long as I damn well woke up."

"Just a question, but did the Antivan stop his skirt-chasing after all that?" Oghren muttered.

"Skirt-chasing?" Anders asked.

"And pant-chasing," Elador said with a smile.

"And here I thought our Commander had morals!" Anders laughed.

"Eh, I'm just a sucker for anyone who flirts with me," the lithe elf murmured with a blush, rubbing the back of his neck. "He was… very charming when we first spoke. When I expressed my want of a commitment, Zevran was hesitant. And then the Gauntlet…"

Oghren visibly shivered at the memory. "Damn ghosts… shouldn't be allowed to look into yer' mind…" The dwarven warrior muttered disdainfully. "It's cheating."

Elador smiled slightly. "The guardian of the Gauntlet looked into each of our minds, asked… personal inquiries. It was unpleasant, for all of us. Some of Zevran's past was revealed, I confronted him about it later, and… he finally gave me a commitment." Elador grinned widely, looking as if he wanted to twirl once again. "But, yeah… after he saw how sad it made me, his eyes didn't stray again."

Nathaniel sighed nearly silently, only receiving a look from Sigrun at his side. The look held the one thing he didn't want right now: pity. He wanted anything but that. Pity made him feel weak, like he couldn't even guard his heart against those he knew would hurt him.

"Hm… on a more personal note, Commander, I've been wondering something," all eyes turned to Anders. Nathaniel and Sigrun glared at their mage counter-part. They knew this question was either going to be dirty or… well, dirty.

"What is it?" Elador asked innocently.

"How far down do your tattoos go?"

Elador stopped in the middle of the road, slowly turning his head to glare at Anders. "The fuck is wrong with your mind?" the elf muttered, blushing brightly as he began walking again. "And for the record, only Zevran gets to know that. And Alistair…" The last part was a whisper, accompanied by a smirk.

Now it was everyone else's turn to stop and stare.

"You and the KING?" Anders asked in disbelief. "No way, I thought he was straight!"

"He is!" Elador giggled. "Oghren, remember when me and Alistair were stuck in prison? Well, they stripped us to our underpants. Poor Alistair kept trying to hide his poor virgin eyes. Zevran must have rubbed off on me, cause I kept flaunting the tattoos. He's never forgiven me for it."

Nathaniel and Sigrun began giggling together while Oghren just shrugged with a sigh. Anders was probably trying to wipe that image of a naked King Alistair from his mind.

"Zevran and Morrigan rescued us… Morrigan was my best friend by the end of the journey… she loved making fun of the fact I was making goo-goo eyes at Zevran all the time," the young elf giggled. "Of course, she never mentioned he was making them back!"

"You must really love him," Nathaniel muttered, disheartened.

"Yeah… yeah, I do. But, enough of this! We've got to focus on the darkspawn for now!"


	3. Jealousy Over a Mage

Warning: Yaoi/boy-on-boy  
Pairings: ZevranXm!Grey Warden, one-sided AlistairXm!Grey Warden  
Story: Ches can't sleep, he can never sleep. Not with the literal fate of the world hanging over his head. He knows he should be asleep, and yet the stars enchant him with a sweet lullaby. Alistair knows what's going through Ches' mind, and he would do anything to ease the boy's mind. Anything.  
Disclaimer: Characters (c) Bioware  
Ches (c) Me

I think I have an elf fetish or something... Like, literally, all my characters are male elves! And always in a relationship with Zevran! (mainly cause I can't figure out how to make Alistair gay... anyone got any hints?) So, yeah, here's a one-shot for you! I'll write more about my little Chessy, who is an adorable little read-head with Alistair's hair cut. He's so cute! Like the little brother I've always wanted! ...well, if I was an elf...

* * *

There was something about the night that just seemed to calm the young mage, made the hyper active part of his personality drain away, leaving a fragile boy staring up at the midnight sky with eyes of a golden gleam. He couldn't help it, it was as if this was what he would always be reduced to in the darkest nights, either clinging to poor Alistair for the nightmare that plagued his dreams, or staring up at the sky in hopes of times where he would be able to watch the sky and not fear for his life. He was scared. Oh-so-scared. He didn't know what he was supposed to do, how to be a leader. He had grown up in a tower away from the world, it reminded him of a story he had once heard from a traveling minstrel… Rapunzel… A beautiful princess with locks of gold locked away in a tower, waiting for her prince to come save her.

As Ches stared up at the sky, he remembered a time when he had grown out his red locks, in hopes that maybe a handsome prince would climb up them to rescue him from the tower. He had been forced to cut those locks, along with his dreams the night of his Harrowing. And then that fiasco with Jowan and Lily, poor, poor Lily. He hoped she hadn't been sent to Aeonar.

"Why don't you go sleep?" Ches glanced to his right upon hearing his fellow Grey Warden's voice. He smiled slightly, patting the ground beside him. Alistair, knowing Ches' pension for not talking at night, sighed as he sat down and let Ches move closer for the warmth the poor boy sought. Alistair felt sorry for Ches at times, betrayed by his best friend and exiled from the only home he had even known, ever been taught to know. Suddenly thrown out into a world of monster's and heroes, where the monsters outnumbered the heroes greatly.

"You know, I never really liked any mage's until I met you," Alistair muttered, intent on making sure this awful silence wouldn't drag on, wouldn't make him listen for sounds of darkspawn approach. He felt Ches chuckle beside him. "It's true! I always thought they put on airs, like they were better than me in some way. Now I know it's just because they hated templars in general and wanted them to disappear."

"I don't want you to disappear," Ches whispered, burying his face in Alistair's cloak. The blond smiled slightly, petting the boys red locks to sooth and ease away his fears, his nightmares.

"I take it you didn't like any templars?" Alistair chuckled, still stroking his fingers through the blood locks that were Ches' own. He had always liked Ches' hair, only liking it more when he realized Leliana had the exact same color. The two looked like siblings, if Ches hadn't been an elf and destroyed his fake with inky patterns.

"I liked Cullen," Ches whispered. "Until I met him again… he wanted all the mage's killed… he wanted my family killed… And I liked Hedrig alright, until he was forced to leave with some other templars to go find a group of malificar. They were nice enough to give me his amulet when he didn't come back, since we were friends. Ulta was nice, he even slipped me candy every once and a while, but an abomination got him before the other got a chance to slay it. And Killadra was funny; he joked with me, but then saw Ulta die and had to kill the abomination. He didn't like mages after that…"

Alistair gently looped his arm around Ches' shoulders, pulling him just a bit closer, telling himself the warmth was a welcome difference from the bone-biting cold that surrounded them. That was the most Ches had spoken to him in one night alone, it was the most that he had ever heard the elf speak at one time, in fact. Besides when Sten shared his cookies, which was a rare occasion.

"I know you're tired, Ches, just go to sleep," the blond templar murmured, gently running his hand up and down Ches' all too stiff back, the back that seemed to always be facing him, protecting him, guarding him when it was the mage who needed protecting. "I'll protect you. I promise."

Ches chuckled slightly, nuzzling Alistair's chest gently as he began to fall into the sleep that seemed to claim him at all the wrong moments. "If only Zev could see us… he'd be so jealous…" Ches chuckled, whispered, breathed, as he drifted off into a sleep that he so deserved.

Alistair smiled sadly. He knew Zevran, the Antivan who had become so attached to the young mage, would go into a fit if he saw them like this, curled up comfortably next to the fire that gave them too little warmth. Zevran and Ches had shared a bed and so many other things, this the templar knew, and yet he couldn't help but hope. He couldn't help but wish that maybe, maybe this beautiful boyish mage would be his one day.


	4. Love and Whatnot

Warning: Yaoi/boy-on-boy  
Pairings: Alistair/m!Grey Warden, m!Grey Warden/m!OC  
Story: There's always been that little nagging voice in the back of his head, telling Ches it would all end someday. He just didn't think he would meet the woman he took his place. So he ran, as fast and as far as he could, and though he picked up a straggler, he still had to run.  
Disclaimer: Characters (c) Bioware  
Ches (c) Me

A/N: So... there will be more of this story, I just wanted to get something up before Christmas! A little... happy birthday to Jesus. It's a long story, too! Well, for me, at least. Takes place between Awakening and Origins, cause I can.

* * *

It wasn't like he hadn't expected it; it was the whole reason the human had broken his heart into tiny pieces, pieces so small not even his magic could ever hope to put _all_ the pieces back together. But it was done, over, and yet… Not moments before, he would have stood before the Maker and sworn that he loved Alistair, and that Alistair loved him back. But that was seconds ago. And just a second can change the fate of the world. Like choosing whether or not to knock on the king's closed door.

"A-ah, sorry, my lord!" He had reverted to the language to address humans as when he was a child in the Alienage. He knew Alistair would lecture him later about the slip of the tongue, but right now… "I'll just- sorry!" The young elfin mage turned and darted out in the hallway, the image of the beautiful maiden straddling Alistair's unclothed thighs burning the back of his eyes. He slammed the door shut and ran, to where he didn't know, he just knew he had to run. He couldn't stand seeing Alistair with a woman, couldn't stand _thinking_ Alistair was… was…

"Shit…" the mage hissed as he finally came to a stop in a lonely hall filled with the portraits of previous kings. He leaned against the wall, sliding down to his knees as he let the tears stream down his cheeks. He couldn't stand this, any of it! He wasn't supposed to be a hero; he was supposed to be back in the tower with Jowan laughing about the latest Templar gossip. He didn't want this, he had never wanted this! Duncan had been forced to _conscript_ him for Maker's sake! And he was being a baby about all this; Alistair deserved to be happy with someone, even if that someone was a whore…

A small whimper made the young male look up to see Collin looking at him, tail barely wagging as he tried to figure out what was wrong with his master. "I know, Collin. Let's get out of here. We should have left weeks ago," the mage whispered, rubbing at his still-dripping eyes and wiping his running nose. He knew perfectly well he looked like a wreck, which was why he was glad Collin had been the one to find him. He unsteadily stood, gently placing a hand on Collin's head as he walked beside the Mabari. "We have to start recruiting for the Grey Wardens! It is my job now, anyways. We'll help people rebuild throughout the country, too… Why don't we head to the Circle first?" he tilted his head to look down at the Mabari next to him, who barked happily. "We could visit Dagna!"

Finally, after what seemed like an hour or two, the young mage and Mabari came to a plain wooden, opening it to find a plain bedroom with a simple bed and simple everything. The elf chuckled slightly as he opened the wardrobe, taking out the traveling bag he had never gotten rid of. Collin whined slightly as his master began putting everything he owned in the smallish bag, even the poor hound's toys and snacks. The mage turned to Collin, smiling slightly, sadly, as he reached out to pet the poor hound. "We'll grab some food from the kitchen," he murmured, tugging his bag over his shoulder. "We'll just have to deal with stew after that until we can get to another city, town, whatever."

Quietly, the male snuck out of his room with Collin at his heels. He darted down the familiar hallways until he reached the dining hall. He waved at some of the elfin servants, who enthusiastically waved back at their hero magi hero. He grinned as he walked into the kitchen, explaining that he was leaving to Heather, the head cook who he had come to trust. She just smiled and packed him a lunch and some snacks of various fruits and dried meats. "Just make sure he gets regular meals, Collin!" She told the Mabari before the mage and hound had gone back out into the maze of hallways, knowing this might be the last she ever saw of the hero of Ferelden.

"Where's Ches going?" one of the scullery maids asked quietly. "With that bag and all it looks like he's leaving…"

"He is the Ferelden Grey Warden Commander. He had a duty, now, though he may not have asked for it. We'll not see him again, not as he is now," Heather murmured as she went back to the dough she had been kneading. "Child is going to go down in legend, for who he was and who he will be."

The scullery maid tilted her head slightly, not fully understanding the meaning of the elder woman's words. She shrugged slightly, only sparing a glance to where the young mage had disappeared. She wondered if he would ever come back to this place, maybe he would recruit her! Though she couldn't really fight… A smile played on her lips as she thought of it, the mage traversing the land in search of adventure. What a romantic life he led.

"You are leaving?" The quiet, accented voice made Ches turn slightly, smiling when he saw Zevran. "I would think you would at least say until…"

"I have recruiting to do, Zev," the mage murmured, walking forward slightly to have Zevran encase him in a gentle hug. "You knew I wasn't staying for very long. I have a duty, to the Grey Warden's and to Ferelden. And don't even think of coming with me, Alistair needs you here to make sure he doesn't get assassinated." The elf felt the Antivan chuckle against him, tightening his hold on the young mage at the same time. "I'll miss you, too, Zev…"

"Just come back alive," Zevran murmured as he separated himself from the young mage, his eyes soft as he looked the mage up and down. "Or Alistair and I will be sorely put out."

"No promises," the mage giggled. "Come on, Collin." And he was away before Zevran could utter another word. The mage seemed to float down the hallways, and Zevran knew exactly which exit he was going to use. It was the one Alistair didn't know of, the one Alistair couldn't find him leaving through. The mage smiled down at his hound, patting the Mabari's head as they briskly walked through the hallways.

They met no further resistance within the palace, meaning the two were on the home stretch. All they needed to do was get out of the city by nightfall, or whenever Alistair got done with his whore and decided to come looking for him, if he already wasn't. He hadn't been meant to see that image, the girl laying herself out for the king, his hands tight on her hips, lips red and bruised from kissing. He had been the only one to give Alistair lips that looked like that, he had been the one to steal Alistair's first kiss, his first… well, everything. They had given each other their firsts, because they knew that they loved each other.

"There are times I regret it, Collin," the elf murmured as he walked through the market place with his faithful hound. "Letting Eamon make Alistair king, I mean. But… Anora would have banished him! Or worse… I couldn't stand that… maybe it would have been easier than this, though. Easier than watching him…" He pulled up the hood he had recently attached to his robes, hiding his face and the tears that threatened to fall. It wasn't supposed to be this hard to let go, to just say it was over and they were done!

"Let's get out of here, Collin…"

"I swear to the Maker, Zevran, if you don't tell me this moment where he's gone…" Alistair had the elf backed up against a wall, his eyes sparking with vicious intent. Alistair had realized only moments ago that his fellow Grey Warden had disappeared, leaving the palace and vanishing into thin air. When Ches had walked in, seeing the position he had been in… He had no excuse for it; he couldn't say it had been a mistake when it hadn't. But what he did know, and what he needed for Ches to know, was that his heart would always belong to Ches, for the mage truly was the most beautiful and amazing creature on the face of the earth.

"Even if I knew, I would not tell you, Alistair. You broke his heart, and for what? An heir? Because some of the people may not approve? You can't please everyone all the time, my king, but the one person you should care about more than anything you hurt. I do not know where he has gone; only that he has. He did not tell me why, only that he must begin recruiting," Zevran finally finished, wanting to spit in Alistair's face for the very way he had treated his beloved Warden. The two were friends, yes, and that meant Zevran would do everything he could to ensure the elf's happiness.

Alistair backed up, not looking at Zevran, until he back hit the opposite wall. "I… bought this for him," he whispered, drawing a beautifully simple gold ring from his pocket. Zevran's eyes widened as he realized the fumbling buffoon's intent. "I wanted to ask him to marry me. To rule beside me, until we both perish from this curse… But… Then I heard him talking with Leliana, about how he was needed, about how he was going to go and recruit other Warden's once the Blight was defeated. And then about how I am the rightful king and Leliana pointed out that I would need an heir someday if I did become king, and… and… I lost my nerve. I don't know why, I had the perfect moment, but somehow…"

"You couldn't," Zevran murmured quietly. "You know he would have said yes. No matter what it meant for the future. As for an heir…" Zevran glanced at Alistair, taking in the human's distraught features, the way his eyes glistened when he looked at that tiny ring. "If you leave now, you might be able to intercept him at the gates."

Alistair glanced up at the Antivan, grinning his boyish grin as he slipped the ring back into his pocket. He looked alive again, smiling like that, like the Alistair Zevran had become so accustomed to traveling with, the Templar turned Warden who shared his banter. Though unlike Ches he had not been a formidable competitor, the Antivan had still taken a liking to the young human's way of speech and mannerisms. And when he had ultimately learned of Alistair and the Warden's… intimate knowledge of each other, he had known the Warden could be with no one better. The bastard-king would not hurt him. Not on purpose.

"Thank you, Zevran," Alistair whispered as he stood straight and ran down the hall. He had to find Ches, had to explain. His feet barely touched the polished stone of the palace, nearly tripping on the carpeting. The servants and others yelled and scoffed at him as he ran, a goofy grin plastered across his features. He hadn't realized just how much fun it would be, running like this again.

"Please, wait for me, Ches…"

"Ready, Collin?" The Mabari barked in agreement, making a smile cross the young mage's hooded lips. He stood at the gate of the city, ready to leave this whole mess behind him, ready to begin recruiting. Ready to start anew.

Alistair skidded around a corner, ignoring the cheers and gasps as people watched their king run through the market like a mad-man. He heard a familiar laugh, Shianni's, but he ignored it in favor of making sure his love didn't leave the city. Didn't leave him without knowing Alistair was his, body and soul.

Ches began the long walk down the road, hand on Collin's head as they walked side-by-side. It was odd leaving the city with none of his companions besides the scarred Mabari who had fought so bravely alongside him. It was strange not having Zevran's endless teasing echoing as Oghren laughed and Wynne attempted to lecture him. And without Leliana's attempting to convert Morrigan, make her see the light of the Maker and shoes, it just seemed dull. It was too bright without Sten's bulking figure to walk beside him, but most of all… it was lonely without Alistair. To kiss him, to hold him, to tell him it was alright, to lie beside him after a night of love making…

"No…" Alistair gasped for air, staring out into over the vast road, his heart sinking as he realized he was too late. Much too late… Ches had left without so much as a good-bye; he had left without getting permission! It was wrong, his beloved just leaving like that… So very wrong… "I'm sorry, Ches, I'm sorry."

The mage sighed as he set up a small tent, though he knew he was not likely to sleep. He had always seemed to attract darkspawn, even if they were in the middle of a city! At least out here like this he could let his full power out without having to worry about his companions. Well, Collin. But the hound was smart enough to know when to back down and let Ches do his mage thing. Magic was not a thing the Mabari was a fan of, besides healing spells and Mabari crunch of course. And of course Ches could understand, magic was scary even if you wielded it, and many saw it as a curse cast upon them by the Maker himself.

"Heh, I highly doubt that," Ches muttered as he cast a minor fire spell, the campfire he had set up crackling to life before his eyes, the warmth a welcome change from Ferelden's icy cold normality. He wished he could have been born in Antiva, sometimes, from the way Zevran told tales of the land it was a dream come true. A place of pure warmth and light and a place where maybe mages weren't as feared…

The first night saw the two travelers nothing in the way of adventure, much as Ches had suspected. The areas closest to Denerim had been cleared of any lingering darkspawn, meaning Ches would find no stragglers here. Lothering seemed like a good place to start, helping the Chantry to rebuild the tiny trading town. He had always heard that one day Lothering would see its end. Well, he was sure to see its new beginning!

It had been a week, Ches was sure they had covered a good couple miles in that time. Collin was tired; he had been hunting every night for their meals while Ches searched for herbs, in case they were attacked. "We'll need to head to the Circle after we hang out in Lothering for a while. I'll need to stock up on lyrium dust and potions," Ches muttered as he checked his supply. Collin whined slightly. "I know, I should have thought of this before I left, but it seemed like enough then!" Once again, the hound whined, but Ches slowly realized the whine wasn't targeted towards what he was saying. Looking up immediately, Ches cursed that his keen senses seemed to have dulled.

A young human male stood before him, a slight smile across his lips. But the smile didn't last long.

Ches was on his feet, staff at the ready as he levelly glared at the human. He took in the sword that hung across the male's back was the only thing the mage cared about, not even the way Collin seemed to settle down around the man, like one of their companions. He couldn't afford to be lenient with anyone, let alone a stranger.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," the human stuttered, putting his hands up in a sign of peace when he saw the mage truly meant business. "No need to be rash! I didn't mean to startle you, sir mage! I thought you heard me coming, your hound sure did!"

Ches glanced down at Collin, and when he realized the dog had made no move against the human, he slowly let his staff fall slightly. He was still on edge, still worried about this stranger. But Collin was a smart hound; he would have attacked the human if he thought him a threat to his master. Ches would have to trust his companion's judgment, for now.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Ches hissed, hoping the flames shadowed his face enough to be unrecognizable. Or that the human just didn't know who he was. "Speak quickly or I swear to the Maker I will strike you down where you stand."

"I-I was traveling down the road when I saw smoke. I thought there might be travelers nearby… I didn't think I would find an elf as ravishing as yourself," the smirk across the male's face distinctly reminded Ches of Zevran. The thought of the assassin had Ches collapsing on the bed roll he had yet to set out. He knew the human's eyes had widened at his sudden defenseless stature, but right now he focused on massaging the migraine he felt coming on.

"I swear, if you are from the Crows, I will have you know I defeated two of your assassin's already, I don't mind defeating another," he growled, throwing his staff to the ground. Collin whined and stood up, gently nudging his master's arm.

"I… do not know what the Crows are," the warrior muttered. "My name is Derek. I was traveling to Denerim, to help rebuild."

"Then you're a little late," Ches chuckled, looking up at Derek. He knew he probably looked a mess, his now-long hair out of place and bags under his eyes. "I was going to Lothering from Denerim. There is plenty of help in Denerim; the king is mustering the forces to rebuild as fast as possible, so that focus can be paid to other… less fortune towns. Lothering being one of them." He rubbed his head slightly, massaging his temple and gently running a pale hand through his red hair. He was worried about what this warrior would do now, would he ask to tag along? He couldn't stand having someone who was eventually going to leave him! He had gotten close to all his companions, knowing that they were going to leave, and yet…

"Ah…" Derek murmured, looking awkward as he shuffled from foot to foot. "I was also… sort of hoping to meet the man who saved us all. They say he stands tall, like a giant, and has more magic than any mage of the Imperium ever did! It's amazing a mage saved us all, don't you think?"

Ches looked up to see Derek beaming, speaking of the elf right in front of him. "A giant, huh? Rumors spread like wildfire. He's an elf, originally from Denerim himself. You probably wouldn't be able to pick him out of a crowd," he chuckled slightly, shaking his head. "Amazing how things can change and spread from word of mouth alone…"

"You've seen him, then?" Derek asked happily. Ches glanced up at the human. His joy was almost contagious, and he sighed, patting the ground next to him. Derek grinned, taking a seat next to the red-headed elf.

"You remind me of an innocence I had forgotten existed in this world. Yes, I have seen your hero and his companions. King Alistair is a tall man, beautiful man, though I would not know how handsome on the human scale of things. He seems… too young to be ruling, but his companions seem to know enough to help him," Ches explained quietly. He was so glad this young human did not know who he was, did not know what he had done for this country. It was… nice.

"What are these "Crows" you mentioned? And asking if I was one of them?" Derek inquired. Ches did not know what he was doing; spilling his deepest secrets to a complete stranger, but it was just so tiring to keep this charade up…

Ches held back a small sob, running a hand over his eyes as Collin set his head in the elf's lap. "I… had a companion, Zevran. He was once an assassin for the Crows, which are based in Antiva. You act like him, flirting with everything that has a pulse. I, uh, I had to leave him behind when I left Denerim. I left all my companions behind save Collin here, actually."

"I… oh…" Derek muttered, sitting back slightly. "Well… would you mind a little more company? If I'm not needed in Denerim, maybe I could be put to better use in Lothering." Ches glanced at the human, a wide grin spreading across his almost childish features.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt…"

"Oh, thank you!" Derek laughed. "You won't regret it! Though… I've run into a few bands of darkspawn stragglers, but I'll warn you about them! I promise not one will lay a hand on you!"

Ches raised a brow at Derek's heroic behavior. "I am not helpless, human, I am a mage. And I have quite a few spells up my sleeve…"

"Stop." Ches held out an arm, his brown eyes narrowing as he stared out ahead at the road. Derek had been traveling with the mage and war-hound for two weeks now, and Ches had managed to get around telling him about being a Grey Warden. "There's darkspawn ahead, two emissaries with them. There's no way to go around them." Ches turned to Derek, his eyes prepared for battle, the light-heartedness that Derek seemed to retrieve gone. "Stay behind Collin and me. You don't know how to fight with us yet, you'll only get in the way."

"Wha-bu-I-"

Ches didn't give him a chance to talk, already preparing to cast an Inferno. It would take care of the weak emissaries, and make it easier to take down the rest of the pests. "Collin, go," Ches hissed as they came around a corner and face-to-face with a pack of darkspawn. He let the spell go as his hound raced forward.

"Cone of cold!" he muttered, freezing the few darkspawn that came running at him, sending the rest of them to the ground with a follow-up Fireball. He didn't have time to look back at Derek before a Crushing Prison hit him. Almost unused to the pain it caused, he cried out in agony as his feet were lifted off the ground. When he was sent to his knees as the spell ended, he looked up to see Collin finishing off the last genlock.

"Ugh…" he muttered, clutching his stomach as he nearly doubled over. "Forgot how much that hurt…" Holding tightly to his staff, Ches pulled himself to his feet, barely noticing the warm arm that had encased his waist, helping him up. "Sorry you had to see that, Derek… I was sure that Inferno spell got him…"

When Collin began barking, Ches immediately cast a Heal spell, making sure his hound wasn't wounded too badly at the same time. Collin stuck his nose in Ches' middle, sniffing the male and making sure his master also wasn't hurt.

"You… wow… What was that?" Derek muttered, helping Ches get to the comfort of the trees. "I mean that spell that was cast on you! I've never seen anything like it!"

Ches chuckled and immediately regretted it, placing a hand over his mouth. "Crushing Prison," he managed to get out as Derek laid him on the soft bed of leaves. "I hate that spell so much… Managed to knock me out a few times… Damn it, I thought I killed that damned emissary! Missing things like that… I can't believe I lost my touch this much…"

Collin whimpered slightly, lying down next to his master. "I don't think…" Derek murmured quietly as he began to unpack everything. "I mean, it isn't really your fault! Anyone could have made that mistake-"

"But I'm not just anyone, Derek!" Ches hissed, jolting his body into a sitting position. It hurt, sure, but not as badly as most of the wounds he had suffered. He struggled to his feet, pacing impatiently. "I'm a Grey Warden, damn it! I put a king on the dwarven throne, saved the Circle, saved Redcliffe, killed a high dragon, found Andraste's ashes, destroyed a centuries old curse, and killed the Archdemon! I don't, can't, miss things like that! I can't just…" Ches finally fell to his knees on the ground, not minding the snow that had begun to fall, or the kind arm that was placed around him as he began to cry. All he knew was the desperate cries that came ripping from his throat, echoing throughout the forest. "I can't do this anymore!"

Derek rocked the elf back and forth, stroking his back as the let the mage cry into his shoulder. So Ches was Ferelden's hero… he should have guessed, he realized, it was obvious. A mage outside the Circle with no templar? No one but the Ferelden's most cherished mage would be able to do that…

Neither knew how long it was, but finally Ches was just taking shaking breaths though he still clung to the sparse fabric spaced between the harsh metal of Derek's armor. He felt his eyes becoming heavy, happy that the tears and the pain had finally faded. "Thank you, Derek," he whispered as he finally let the darkness take over, and he fell into the sleep of the Fade.

"Good night, Ches," the warrior whispered. Derek glanced at Collin, the hound happily munching on a squirrel he had caught not two minutes ago. He sighed and leaned back against a tree, tugging a blanket from the pack he had set on the ground. Tossing over the two of them, Derek smiled as Ches sighed and moved closer to him in his sleep, Derek's hold tightening on the mage. "You deserve it…"

"Alistair…" Ches whispered, nuzzling the warmth he laid atop. "We need to get up…" A chuckle alerted Ches to Alistair's wakefulness, or the man he thought was Alistair. He sighed as he slowly opened his chocolate brown eyes, and he suddenly wished he was asleep again.

He jolted upright, blush spread across his face as he immediately scrambled backwards. "I-I am sorry," Ches muttered, running a hand through his hair as he tried to stand. He only managed to look foolish as his feet caught in the blanket and fell forward onto Derek's chest. "Sorry," Ches squeaked as he looked up into Derek's too-young face.

And before either could say a thing, their lips were connected and their fingers intertwined. It had just happened. And neither were complaining.


	5. Courting

Warning: Yaoi/boy-on-boy  
Pairings: ZevranXmale!Grey Warden  
Story: Courting has been present in all societies since seemingly the beginning of time. Now, it is time for the ritual to begin once again.  
Disclaimer: Characters (c) Bioware  
Sinon (c) Me

* * *

The warrior smiled softly as his cloth skated over the beautifully polished metal of his dagger, making sure to move the cloth just right. He wanted his most prized possession to shine like liquid silver when his enemies looked at him. Looked at their vision of death, the beautifully carved elfin warrior holding a sword blazing with red flames in one hand and a blood-red dagger in the other. He screamed of death.

Though not all would agree with that statement.

"My stoic warrior…" Sinon turned his head slightly, raising a brow as he felt his lover sit behind him, wrapping his arms around the smaller elf. "You treat that blade so lovingly; I wish it was I you watched with such eyes."

"My Zevran, you are so much more beautiful than a simple dagger," the warrior whispered, leaning back against his lover. He let the cloth drop from his hand, instead reaching down to grasp Zevran's hand, bringing it forward to his lips. "But I must make my weapons shine, so I can show those darkspawn their hearts tomorrow."

Zevran chuckled, slipping his fingers against Sinon's. "May I ask what is so special about tomorrow? Is it not just another day?"

When Zevran felt his lover chuckle against him, he knew he had either say something extremely dimwitted or alluded to the fact he was no true Ferelden citizen. "I almost forgot you do not know all our holidays. Though this one I am surprised you do not know, the day of lovers of all things. The day is Valentine's Day tomorrow, my lover."

"Hm…" Zevran smiled against the raven-haired elf's skin, nuzzling it slightly. "And yet you seem to have certain distaste for this day when you have someone as beautiful and skilled as me to spend it with. Why is that?"

"The last time I spent this day with someone was… well, I wasn't a Grey Warden yet. And Tamlen was still alive. He spent the day courting me, though we were already together by then. Gave me flowers, read silly poems… I… gave myself to him that day," Sinon finished in a whisper, turning his head to lean it against Zevran's chest. He was sitting before the fire, having once been leaning against a log, but once Zevran had sat down on the log, he had immediately leaned against the elder elf.

"You want revenge, no?" the assassin murmured. "You will get it, my dear, but tonight and tomorrow, you will spend with me. For, my lover, you deserve nothing less than the best the world has to offer."

* * *

Sinon's eyes widened, lips pursing together in a slight frown. He stared at the beautiful bundle of flower that lay atop his bag, beautiful red mixing with poignant blues into a spectacular sight of love. He blushed brightly, only breaking the competition between his eyes and the flowers when he heard a mix of giggles and deep laughter behind him.

"Sinon, what did you tell that idiot?" Alistair chuckled, hiding his laughter behind his hand. Or at least attempting to. He glanced at his fellow warden, unsurprised to see the tiny elf glaring up at him.

"Aw, I think it's cute! He obviously cares about you, Warden, if he is willing to find so many flowers in such a desolate place. He is very sweet," Leliana giggled, linking arms with her friend, feeling the elf fidget against her side.

"I still do not trust him." All eyes turned to the frowning Morrigan.

"Of course you don't, you don't trust anyone," Alistair's voice whined slightly, making Sinon smile, only to cover it up. "He's been good for Sinon; you should appreciate that, at least. Plus, he has been fairly useful."

Morrigan snorted quietly, turning away. Sinon walked up to her, gently touching her arm with the very tips of his fingers. When she turned to look at him, her eyes still hard, he gave her the rarest and most beautiful thing she had ever found in the world: a smile. This smile was so much different than his blood-thirsty war cries, this one kinder, as if telling her everything would be alright. He just needed her to trust him. And she knew she always would.

"Just… be careful," she quietly warned before stalking off towards her tent.

Letting the smile fall from his features, Sinon turned back to the flowers and his two friends. Leliana held them delicately in her arms, fingers grazing the petals of the wild flowers. Sinon reached out for the, smiling only slightly when Leliana placed them within his weary grasp.

"He is sweet."

"Very." The two honestly agreed.

* * *

"So… what is this supposed to be?" Alistair muttered, watching a tanned Antivan elf wearing a silly cloth for an apron stirred breakfast in the pot over the fire. In all honesty, he didn't want to interrupt the elf or anything, because the smells wafting from the pot were heavenly. Much more delicate and mouth-watering than either his or Morrigan's cooking.

"Breakfast. My dear Sinon deserves it, he is risking everything for this mess of a country," Zevran murmured, humming as he continued to stir whatever it was that he was creating. He smiled slightly as he watched the concoction bubble.

"Oh… oh, Maker!" Alistair began to laugh, falling to a sitting position on one of the logs positioned around the fire. "You're courting him, aren't you? Zevran, the famous Antivan lover! You're courting Sinon!"

"And if I am?" Zevran murmured, an indignant huff escaping past his pursed lips. "He deserves it."

"I know that. I am his brother, and will therefore make sure he gets what he deserves. I still do not like you, Zevran, but you seem to be good for him. You will court him, and I will be watching you. Don't like for a moment I won't interfere if I see you do something… assassiny," Alistair finished in a hissed whisper, glaring suspiciously at the Antivan.

"Assassiny? Really, Alistair?" Sinon strode forward, rolling his eyes at his "brother's" protective speech. "Hm… smells good…" the tiny elf murmured, wrapping an arm around Zevran as he breathed in the scent of the… well, even Zevran didn't really know what it was. "And the flowers were beautiful, Zev."

Zevran leaned down, kissing the other elf's raven hair. "You never show this kind of affection, my dear. What has changed?"

"You," Sinon murmured smiling happily as he gently ran his fingers down Zevran's back. "You are actually courting me." With a sigh, Sinon turned content ocean-green eyes up at his lover, happy to just stare up at him. For he was small, for even an elf. "And I wish to the gods you would let me say the one thing you have forbidden from my lips. But for right now, I am content for just this."

* * *

A/N: Wow! I wrote something! Amazing, isn't it? And... really late for Valentine's Day. Sort of one of my favorite holidays. I dressed up all nice and pretty and stuffs. It was really fun. And then I forgot to write something! So... it's here now! Be happeh!

You know, that sad part is that Sinon is the only character I ever actually killed off. It was so sad!


	6. Running

**Warning:** Yaoi/boy-on-boy  
**Pairings:** ZevranXmale!Grey Warden, AndersXm!Hawke  
**Story:** The time for fighting and explaining and peace is long past. Now if the time for running and praying they will not find you and take from you all that you hold dear. And if you happen to find a light along that way, it makes the running all the better.  
**Disclaimer:** Characters (c) Bioware  
Adrian, Nathaniel (c) Me

* * *

They had been running… for who knows how long… they couldn't stop, they knew that and yet the temptation was still there. To just lie down and wait for capture or, more likely, death. But he couldn't allow that, not when he had watched his family crumble to pieces all around him. He couldn't let the most important part of his life just… give up, as he had been speaking of doing.

"Anders, I won't let them take you," he had hissed one night, gripping the blonde's arms tight enough to leave bruises. "I don't care what mistakes either of us made, all I care about is you. Right here and right now, we are both alive and I am going to do my damn best to keep it that way."

But this… they hadn't expected this. Nathaniel had never expected to watch Anders eyes light up with innocence and recognition and such loyalty it almost put their own love to shame. And all because of a grinning Dalish elf with two swords attached to his back that had stood, seeming to be waiting for them, at a bend in the road. His hands had been in deep pockets, armor absent, and cloak billowing in the wind. A fairly large pack had sat beside him, probably filled to the brim with the armor he didn't wear. The elf had a knowing smile on his way as he watched the two scramble out of the woods.

"Commander!" Anders had cried, rushing forward to pull the elf against him, arms tight around the Commander of the Grey. "Dear Maker, I thought I'd never see you again!"

And the elf had laughed, winding his arms around the blond mage and resting his head against the man's robed chest. "It is good to see you as well, Anders." They had stood there for a moment, at least long enough for Nathaniel to tentatively step forward to stand beside Anders when they did separate. "It is good I found you, old friend. Zevran sent me a letter about what had happened in Kirkwall, and I rushed over here immediately."

Anders looked confused for a moment before understanding dawned across his features. "King Alistair told you about me, I assume?"

"Heh, I am not best friends with the king for nothing, little mage," the elf had laughed. "He told me all about you and the Champion of Kirkwall, the one worthy of legend. Leliana also wrote me about the state of affairs there, she seemed to be begging me to come and find some way to calm everyone down."

"And you didn't, why?" Nathaniel asked, finally stepping forward. He felt a calm hand on his arm and looked over to see Anders smiling at him slightly. It was the first smile the blond had given him in weeks… and it was as beautiful as ever. He stepped back, letting his threatening stance diminish.

"Well, aren't you a hot-headed one?" the elf giggled. "I am the Hero of Ferelden, not the Free Marches. I had no say over what goes on there. More than likely they would riot at a foreigner trying to solve their problems. It would not help if I had gone."

"Nathaniel, this is my Commander… and friend, Adrian," Anders murmured, eyes telling the mage to calm down a bit. "He… was the one who gave me Sir Pounce-a-Lot."

"Oh, and when I heard about those idiots making you get rid of him… ugh! If the cat is a gift from the Commander, they should not question it! Makes me glad I finally just left…" Adrian muttered, puffing a strand of brown hair from his face. "I never was the leader type… and I really need to find Zevran."

"Wait…" Nathaniel muttered, thinking back to not a few months ago. "Antivan elf, running from the Crows?"

"I take it you ran into him?" Adrian's knowing smile appeared once more. It was as if the rogue knew everything about the past, present, and future. And being a Grey Warden, Nathaniel almost wasn't surprised.

"Nathaniel saved his life," Anders explained. "The Crows tracking him did mention a Warden… but I didn't know it was you, Commander! Was… well, you know… the letter…" Anders blushed slightly, and Nathaniel watched as the two turned red together, Adrian biting his bottom lip as he smiled.

The elf nodded, if only slightly. "Yeah, that's my Zev. He wrote me that he was going back to Antiva; he plans to wage a mini-war over there. Then again if it involves the Crows, I am doubtful it will be small. I decided… to go with him. I have no seen him in years, and I get so few letters from him. I just… I don't know, needed to make sure he's still here. Make sure he's still my Zevran."

"Well, if your Zevran flirts with anything that moves and has a thing for bondage, then yes, he's still your Zevran."

Anders sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Do you always have to be so blunt, love?" he muttered, looking over to his grinning lover. "No, don't answer that. I really don't want to know."

"Hm… it's good to see you found someone, Anders. After that incident with Brenan back in the Keep I was worried," Adrian murmured, looking between the two with a gaze akin to that of a hawk's. "The idiot was never right, I'll tell you that. It made me glad to send him down to fix Lothering up, after your break-up."

Nathaniel tilted his head to look at Anders, tilting a brow up as the blond stuttered, trying to find the words to explain. He didn't get a chance to, as Nathaniel turned back to Adrian with a grateful smile. "How is Lothering doing, if I might ask? It was my home for many… many years."

"Well…" Adrian looked thoughtful for a moment, as if thinking back to the last time he was there. "By now it should be almost completely rebuilt. With all the Wardens I've sent down there to try and clean things up, it's perfectly safe. The only part I would worry about is the land. The darkspawn seemed to have poisoned it completely, almost to the point of no return. Maybe in a decade or two it will be back to the trading and farming town it once was… but for now, Lothering is still struggling."

"And on a completely different note, Commander, how do you even know Zevran will be traveling along this road?" Anders asked his innocent smile back in place. Nathaniel couldn't help but wonder if that was the smile he had always worn before this whole mess with the Circle, Justice, and the Chantry.

"Well… I don't really. Just a feeling. And I've learned to trust my feelings when it comes to Zevvy," Adrian said with a slight tilt of his head and a smile. "But now it's approaching dark. Shall we set up camp for the night? I would like to hear how you and Justice are doing Anders; I've missed both of you since you ran from the Wardens. And I heard you met Nathaniel down in the deep roads, I want to hear how he's doing!"

Nathaniel Hawke walked slightly behind the two Grey Warden's as they chatted of things long past, gossiped about people he had never heard of. He didn't know if he should truly trust Adrian, but he did know that he trusted Anders judgment… Scratch that, he didn't think Anders had the sanity to call judgment at this point. They really had to figure this whole Justice thing out.

"Nathaniel?" Anders surprised near-whisper came about only because Nathaniel had caught him by the waist and planted a kiss on his cheek. "What's wrong?"

"I am going to keep watch for Zevran while you two catch up. Hopefully he'll come along before we have to keep moving in the morning," Nathaniel's voice was husky, bordering on seductive, but then again, hadn't his voice always sounded that way to Anders? "You catch up with your Commander. I'll make sure the assassin doesn't miss his lover because Adrian didn't have the sense to tell him he'd be coming to find him."

Anders nodded and found he missed the warmth of Nathaniel's arms as they dropped from around him. He turned his head back to see the brunette walking back from where they had just come, back to the open road.

"He seems to love you very much." Anders jolted at the sound, turning to see Adrian smiling like an old grandmother might at the sight of grandchildren. The elf was setting up a tent that he had amazingly taken from his still-stuffed bag, along with some dried meat.

Anders nodded, moving to make a small campfire so that they could at least warm themselves. "He still hasn't forgiven me for what I did in Kirkwall. I doubt he ever will, in all honesty. I don't deserve to be forgiven. Maker… I've made so many mistakes, Adrian… I thought I was helping Justice and in the end I corrupted him into a spirit of Vengeance. And then with the mages, I honestly think I just made it worse! And Hawke doesn't trust me now… I love him, so much; I can't lose him to my stupidity. I just can't."

Adrian smiled remained all through the speech, coming to sit next to Anders by the tiny fire he had managed to create. "You won't. Alistair told me about you two, the way you look at each other. He said… he said it reminded him of the way his aunt and uncle look at each other. They love each other so much they defied a king to be together, defeated a demon to save their son. I see it now… I know you two will be able to last through anything. You've lasted thus-far."

Anders bumped shoulders with the older elf, smiling warmly at him. "You should have met everyone… Sebastian… ah, it's my fault he gone to bring an army from Starkhaven to Kirkwall. He's a priest, or at least trying to be. He's also very funny, in all honesty. And Varric, oh he's so different from Oghren! He loves to tell stories, he even vowed to tell Hawke's story until the day he died. With a bit of embellishment, of course. And Isabela… it broke Hawke when she left up after only three years. I think she brought a bit more of home to Kirkwall, and it made him feel almost welcome. And Aveline, she is the most amazing woman I have ever met! She became guard-captain."

"Named after the Orlesian legend, I take it," Adrian added with a laugh.

"Fenris, he had a little crush on Hawke, if you ask me. Never liked me, and it wasn't just because Hawke chose me over him, it was because I am a mage. Though I can't exactly blame him… he was a Tevinter slave. And Merrill… She was from your clan, Commander."

Just hearing the name brought tears to Adrian's eyes, the thought of his clan having left his mind for some time. "She… you met Merrill? My little Merrill?" He was nearly crying now, imagining all the things that had happened since he had been forced to leave behind to become a Warden. "And the Keeper? And Master Ilen? You met them all, right? Merrill would never leave the clan without needing to, I know it!"

"She wanted to fix a mirror of some sort… she was meddling with demons," Anders looked away with disgust.

"Of course, innocent little Merrill."

"Your Keeper… she died protecting Merrill from the demon…" Anders murmured, looking at his friend for a sign of whether it was alright to say this or not. Adrian shook his head slightly, smiling as the tears finally came. "And Merrill spoke of you fondly; she said she wished she could see you again. They were stationed at Sundermount, before Hawke and I left, I'm sure they would still be there!"

"No…" Adrian murmured quietly, looking up into the flames. "They are long gone. And I have made peace with the fact that I will never see any of them again, no matter how much it pains me. My place is with Zevran, as it has always been."

"I am glad you realize that," the soft voice came from just behind them, followed by much snickering when the two jumped. Both spun around to see a blond, tanned elf standing in front of Nathaniel, who leaned against a tree with a brow raised.

"Zevran!" Adrian cried, attempting to scramble to his feet and fling himself at his lover all that the same time. The only thing it truly accomplished was sending the two to the ground in a jumbled heap of feverish kissing. "I've… Creators, I've missed you…" Adrian managed to get out before his lips were smothered by another kiss.

Nathaniel chuckled as he stepped around the mass of love to walk with Anders to the other side of the campsite. He noticed their tent had yet to be set up, but that could wait a little while longer. Now he needed to talk to Anders.

"Nathaniel…" Anders started, reaching out to hold the other mage's hand.

"I love you."

Anders didn't know how to respond, only dumbly following Nathaniel when the brunette took his hand and lead him into the forest. He didn't question when Nathaniel refused to look at him as they walked further and further away from the campsite, until Nathaniel was sure Adrian and Zevran would not hear them. He let his hand fall from Anders. This argument had been brewing since before Nathaniel had been forced to watch the Chantry be scattered across the city.

"I understand why you did it, Anders," Nathaniel murmured quietly, still facing the forest instead of the apostate he had once proudly called his lover. "I understand why you feel justified… But… Anders, you killed innocents!" Anders was forced to watch as his lover spun on his heel to face him, eyes ablaze.

"They were not innocents, Hawke, they refused to take sides!" Anders attempted to plead, to calm his lover, to calm himself before anything happened. "They were only making the fighting worse, I had to do something!"

"That doesn't mean you kill them, Anders!" Nathaniel took a few steps forward, looking as if he wanted to reach out. He seemed to think better of it at the moment, though. "When I met you six years ago, all I wanted to do was hold you and kiss you and tell you everything was going to be alright. When we met you were this amazing mage filled with hope for the world. You wanted to make it a better place. Now… now I don't know you."

"Nathaniel, please, I'm still the same person! I swear to you, I am!" Anders was near tears, taking the initiative and linking his hands with Hawke's, bringing the brunette's hand to his lips. "I wanted you to be safe… I could stand it if they had taken you away me… But when you didn't kill me… I fully expected you to kill me. Yours is the only I would die by, my love."

Nathaniel didn't know when, but at some point his arms had found around Anders, pulling the mage close to him. "I love you Anders, so much. But… I don't know the difference between you and Justice anymore. When I first talked to him, he was so different from you, he was so… everything not you. I just… I don't know if I can do this anymore."

Anders clung tightly to Hawke, wanting to keep the mage close to him and show him everything that was right about the two staying together. "Please, please, Hawke, I can't live without you. I can't run without you! Please!" Anders was sure he was crying now… there was no way he wasn't.

He couldn't stand this, watching Anders crumble around him, the strong, funny mage he had once been sure he knew fall into a mess of sobbing and pleading. "I love you, Anders. I love you."

"Just… don't leave me," Anders sobbed into Nathaniel's armor, burying his face in the dark cloth and metal.

"I won't. I promise."

They stood there for who knows how long, just holding to each other like a lifeline and desperately trying to reassure themselves that they were not crumbling to dust. Finally, finally, they stood apart, though their hands remained clasped as they began their walk back to the campsite. Nathaniel knew they needed to set up their tent, but right now all he wanted to do was walk hand-in-hand with his lover.

"And so they finally return!" The two mages looked up to see Adrian sitting by the fire, hair a mess and shirt missing. "I had to tell Zevran no to a second round because I was worried about you two."

"Were we gone that long?" Anders asked quietly, letting his hand fall from Nathaniel's to come sit by Adrian at the fireside. The tanned elf smiled warmly at the two as he watched Nathaniel sit close beside his friend.

"My lover was once a whore, he can create the ultimate pleasure in a very short amount of time," Adrian chuckled, reaching down to fiddle with his swords. "When I heard about you blowing up the Chantry, Anders, I knew you two had an argument in store. I'm glad you forgave him, Hawke. Anders had a truly kind heart, no matter how much he screwed up with Justice. I would like to speak to him at some point, by the way Anders."

The look the elf gave his once-soldier was knowing and caring and smoldering all at once. "I... don't know if that would be such a good idea, Commander. Maybe in the Fade… But outside it, Justice is Vengeance. He's not the most pleasant to be around."

"Slightly strange in the Fade as well, if I might say," Nathaniel said with a smile, only chuckling when Anders elbowed him. "Well, when you're lucid, everything in the Fade is strange!"

"I'm going to have to agree with the Champion on that one, Hawke," Adrian murmured, watching the two as he let a chuckle escape. "The Fade is truly a strange place when you are lucid, and even when you are not."

"That doesn't mean Justice is strange…" Anders muttered, though he did reluctantly lean against Hawke in some form of forgiveness. "Hawke, could you set up the tent?" The blond looked to the brunette with pleading eyes, and the man dared not disobey. Anders let Hawke stand and walk off to the opposite side of camp from where Adrian had set up his own tent.

"So… I heard you met Nathaniel down in the Deep Roads. How is he?" Adrian asked quietly, casting his eyes to the flames as if the question might burn him more than the searing heat emanating from the campfire.

"Same old Nathaniel, honestly. He was surprised to see me there, probably because of my whole leaving thing… We talked when we were returning to the surface… He spoke about you a lot, though he said he hadn't seen you since that night," Anders turned to see a pained look plastered across his Commander's face, the elf seeming to be running through memory upon memory and trying to find some excuse or reason for what had happened.

"I told him I loved Zevran, no one else… You know he said he'd wait, don't you? He promised to be there when my lover broke my heart. I'm glad Zevran came through in the end," the brunette elf turned to shoot a fond smile towards his tent, where he knew an impatient Antivan awaited his return. "Nathaniel was so sweet. I honestly… well, I almost couldn't say no to him. But my heart belongs to Zevran… and I am lead to believe his belongs to me, even if he has yet to admit it."

Anders chuckled quietly, watching emotions float across Adrian's face like clouds over the sun, only hiding the light for a mere moment. "I think Nathaniel understood. Though the damned Howe wouldn't stop whining about it for weeks on end," he smiled at his Commander, his friend, as they spoke of those they would likely never see again.

"Enough of this!" Adrian said suddenly, stretching his lithe arms above his head. It seemed no matter how hard or long the Warden worked out, he failed to gain significant muscle mass. It was impressive, really. "Tell me about your companions. And Zevran, this is going to take some time, so you might as well come and sit with me."

The Antivan poked his head out of the tent flap, glaring slightly, before reluctantly leaving the tent. He had at least donned a pair of pants, Anders noted, as the elf sat beside Adrian.

It was also at this point that Nathaniel finally finished setting up the tent, as he had come to sit beside Anders once again. Wrapping an arm around the blonde's waist, Nathaniel leaned his head against Anders shoulder, sighing out as he closed his eyes.

"You two make a handsome couple," Adrian murmured as he glanced between the two mages. "If only Zevran would be that open about our relationship." The brunette smiled widely when he was gently hit on the shoulder by an annoyed lover.

"We have not seen each other in six years, amor. I am now more than ready to announce to all of Thedas that I love you," Zevran whispered loudly, making sure their companions could hear.

"Hm and you finally came to admit it… when?" Adrian laughed, turning his head back slightly to plant as kiss on Zevran's nose. "Between all the flirting I would have thought it would be impossible."

"I may flirt, but that does not mean I would ever betray you, amor. You mean too much to me to lose because of a fling that I know would not last. And I know you would never forgive me were I to sleep with another," Zevran seemed almost… honest. Anders was surprised at Zevran's declaration; everything he had heard about the elf suggested he was nothing but a playboy.

"I still don't forgive you for flirting with Hawke," Anders muttered, glaring at the blond elf with a ferocity that the elf questioned whether it was Anders or Justice that was glaring at him.

"You don't get to say that, Anders, you broke up with me way before then," Hawke chuckled, giving Anders waist a good squeeze to make sure the mage knew he was joking. "I was fair game at the time."

"And Fenris took full advantage of that," Anders was pouting at this point, only glancing back at Hawke to see the man had opened his eyes. "And you didn't notice his flirting once."

"My eyes are only for you."

"Shut up, Hawke," Anders muttered. He couldn't help the smile that blessed his lips and the blush that cursed his cheeks. "You are… too much for me."

"I know. I do try, love."

It was at about this point that they realized they were not alone and looked up to see Adrian almost cooing at the sweetness of it and Zevran glaring, the elf knowing he would be expected to be as sweet as Hawke was now. Anders chuckled slightly, trying to relieve some of his embarrassment while Hawke just smiled contently and closed his eyes as he leaned his head against Anders shoulder once again.

"You two are going to be the death at me," Zevran muttered unhappily. "And now that we're done catching up, I would like to take my lover to bed for a well-deserved night of making love. I have deprived for six years and I am not letting him out of bed for some time."

"We'll have lunch ready," Hawke answered with a smirk, opening his eyes only slightly to watch Zevran drag a brightly blushing Adrian into the tent which was quickly occupied by the sounds of heavy breathing and moans.

"Time to sleep?" Anders asked quietly, standing and taking Nathaniel's hand. His lover smiled, standing, and letting himself be lead to the tent he had sent up just for them. They fell into a pile of exhausted limbs entangled with each other's on the meager bedding they had managed to grab from Anders clinic as they escaped. Sitting up, Anders began peeling away the layers of Nathaniel's robes and armor, being careful not to damage anything or hurt himself. He knew those shining eyes were on him, and he truly did his best to ignore it and instead strip his lover of the things keeping them from sleep.

Eventually the torment was ended and Hawke was laid bare before Anders, the blond taking time to remove his own clothing before lying across Hawke's chest. The two sighed in unison, almost unused to the comfort of the other man's body they had been apart so long. Nathaniel had once thought it was hopeless to keep pursuing Anders, as the mage seemed adamant about keeping him at arm's length. He was so very glad this was no longer the case. Even if the reason was that Anders had destroyed Kirkwall's Chantry and doomed the world to a war between mages and everyone else. Nathaniel did not know who to root for at this point in the story that had turned out to be his life. But right now he was content to run his fingers through Anders soft hair, drifting off into a peaceful sleep he had been denied for far too long.

All too soon it was morning and Anders was forced to leave the heater named Nathaniel Hawke in search of a place to relieve his morning wood. He knew Hawke would be more than happy to take care of it; in fact he would probably tackle him and hold him down if he saw Anders going to take care of it himself… But for some reason it just didn't seem right at the time, like he wasn't supposed to let his lover touch him. At least for a time.

"I cannot believe I am about to do this…" Anders muttered when he judged he was a safe distance from camp. He pulled down the trousers he had grabbed when he had gotten out of the tent and wrapped his hand around the stiff muscle. He bit down on his hand as he began to stroke, trying to imitate the way Hawke's mouth felt wrapped around it. His knees began to feel weak and he was forced to lean against one of the abundant trees to make sure he wouldn't collapse when he finally reached that beautiful peak of ecstasy and was forced to bite down even harder on his hand to keep from crying out. It had been far too long since his last release.

He was almost ashamed as he tugged his trousers back on and made his way back to camp after wiping the evidence of his mess on a few leaves. He was almost glad, now, that Nathaniel had forced Ignacio to stay with Carver, the mage insisting his templar brother would need the dog's protection if he wasn't there to help and keep him safe. Anders had to smile at the brunette's unexpected protective streak focused on his little brother.

With a sigh Anders lit the fire back up, pushing his hair out of his face. He thought about going to get the tie he always used, but going back in the tent meant he risked waking Hawke. He wanted to let the man sleep; Maker's knows he deserved it. "I will make breakfast…" Anders glanced at the sky. "Lunch and then wake them all up." And so he set about making a fire and rummaging in his pack and Hawke's to find something to suitable for a lunch. He had something against killing small animals for dinner, so he usually left that up to Adrian. Well… he had left that to him when they had traveled together. Were they traveling together now? He didn't honestly know. They hadn't exactly given Hawke and him a formal invitation…

Finally some dried meat and vegetables were pulled from Hawke's pack and Anders couldn't help but wonder if the mage knew what was going to happen since he seemed to have everything needed for two people on the run. But he shook his head and went back to work cooking the meal on a pot he had pulled from Adrian's pack over the fire he had created. Now was not a time for questions, now was a time for relaxing before they were on the run again.

"Hm… smells good." Anders glanced up to see Zevran emerging from the tent in front of him, stretching his tanned arms above his head and a lazy smirk crossing his lips. "Much better than Morrigan's or Alistair's cooking."

"You'd be amazed what you can pick up in the Circle," Anders pointed out with a grin. "And what you can learn after escaping multiple times."

"Ah yes, Adrian told me he recruited you when you were about to be taken back to the Circle," Zevran seemed to nod with an air of knowledge, something Anders was surprised to find in the man.

"When did he have time?" the mage chuckled.

"In his letters. He wrote them almost every day, if how many I got was any indication."

"I hope you can tell me more, Anders." Adrian was awake, flushed, and limping as he nearly crawled over to Zevran's side. And though the rogue looked absolutely worn he also looked undeniably pleased and sated. "You will be traveling with us, won't you? I mean, we're pretty much all fugitives at this point." The brunette was grinning from ear to ear, knowing full well he was exempt from that statement. He still have a position of power to return to in Ferelden should he so choose.

"I… will have to talk to Hawke about it. But I hope so," Anders mumbled, his voice seemingly light and indecisive all at once.

"Then go talk to him. I can handle lunch." Adrian was kind, almost too kind for a man who had to babysit an entire country filled to the brim with darkspawn and barely any Wardens. His eyes were now darker, his skin less shining, but he still retained that smile of innocence that seemed lost in so dark a time.

Anders stood from his seat, nodding slightly before retreating to his tent where he knew his lover must have been awake by then. Slipping inside, he was immediately pulled to a muscled chest that he instinctively buried his face in, breathing in the scent that radiated from Hawke. "I love you, Nathaniel."

"We can go with them if you want, love. I have not seen you smile like you do with the Warden in a very long time…" Nathaniel murmured. "And I do love that smile."

Placing a soft kiss on Nathaniel's lips, Anders smiled. "Thank you."

* * *

**A/N:** Omg! This is really really long... For me, at least. And I happen to like it, too! Some fapping, too! ...I've never written someone masturbating, so, uh, please don't yell at me if it's bad and stuffs... I'm more the emotional fuck with your mind kind of writer. But fluffy stuff works too!

And I just finished DA2 and I just couldn't be mean to Anders. Not even a little bit. And not just because I can kinda seem where he's coming from, cause I really didn't approve of his methods, but mostly because the sweet stuff you could say to him made me squeal like the idiot fangirl I am...

Well, that's all for now! 3


	7. Love Dead and Alive

**Warning:** Yaoi/boy-on-boy  
**Pairings:** ZevranXm!Grey Warden, DuncanXm!Grey Warden  
**Story:** Hate, anguish, fear, it can all lead to a single thing... Love.  
**Disclaimer:** Duncan, Alistair, Zevran (c) Bioware  
Nicolai (c) Me

* * *

It wasn't as if leaving the Alienage had been easy, leaving Shianni had been one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. And right when his cousin had needed him most… Nicolai glared at Duncan out of the corner of his eyes, hunched near the campfire, the tips of the pointed ears freezing, stomach growling, and ignoring the shem who seemed to want to speak non-stop.

"Look, shem," Nicolai finally hissed, turning his frosty-blue eyes on Duncan. "I don't like you and don't care about the duty of a Grey Warden, I'm only here because you recruited me and I am in your debt. Don't go thinking we're suddenly friends."

He didn't look at the brunette human when he heard a sigh, nor did he look up when he heard the man stand. What made him look up was the hand that wound itself in his short blond hair, yanking his head back to stare up at an angry Duncan. He glared, struggling when the human lifted him up easily, the warrior easily over powering his rouge talents.

"Do not disrespect me, young one," the human's eyes were dark with something Nicolai had not seen in anyone's eyes in a long time. And he knew the look was reflected in his own blue eyes. "Don't think I won't send you back to the jails if you anger me enough."

Nicolai didn't listen a moment longer, surging forward and ripping a few hairs out at the same time, smacking his lips against the humans before he had a chance to change his mind.

The frustration, the hatred, the sadness all emptied through the kiss, teeth grinding against each other, tongue's teasing blood between the two mouths that held nothing but anger towards each other. They ripped at clothes, pressing naked skin against burning naked skin. The tree he was pressed against rubbed Nicolai's skin raw, but he paid no attention to it, instead holding tightly to the human that took him roughly, pounding into him again and again.

* * *

"Stay still, young one."

Nicolai groaned quietly, the memories of the night before returning slowly. He opened his eyes with difficulty, narrowing them as light spilled in through the opening of tent. He could feel Duncan's warmth by his side, the man applying something to his back… which he realized was sore. He tried to move, and cried out in pain as his skin pulled and wounds from the rough bout of fucking opened.

Hands pressed down on his shoulders, pressing him into the thin blanket. He breathed heavily, trying not to sob out in pain as he tried to lay still.

"Be still," Duncan's voice was almost soothing. "I have to treat these wounds. You passed out against the tree after our… well… I brought you back to my tent, though I didn't realize what the tree had done to you."

"Just…" Nicolai took a shaking breath. "Please, just fix it."

"I will do what I can. I am no healer, you will have to heal naturally."

The night at Ostagar broke Nicolai's heart. He had once laughed and smiled, run around the city with his cousin like the child he was. Alistair had seen him smile, be kind once upon a time, but as the Blight wore on and on he soon forgot how to smile.

Hatred for Loghain consumed him, for he had taken the human he had come to love with all the heart he had. Duncan had been kind, kissed him, held him, loved him, and that bastard had killed him for nothing but greed.

"My Warden…" the Antivan accent brought Nicolai out of his reverie. Zevran stood close to him, smiling kindly as the young elf took a deep breath. "You will win. You will come back. I have no doubt in that."

"Zevran…" Nicolai smiled, leaning forward and kissing Zevran gently, feeling the supple lips give under his. "I love you, my Zevran. Be safe."

* * *

**A/N:** Okay... so my first prompt from the kink meme! Duncan and a Grey Warden... I thought up a character who I just started working on, Nicolai. He's a little baby, honestly, and my first try at being mean. I'm so damn bad at it! I feel horrible whenever I'm mean! But, Nicolai is a bitch, either way.

Tell me what you think, as always! 3


End file.
